Self-Care

When I say "Self-Care", I mean TRUE self-care... not just slapping a bandaid on an otherwise empty cup. As mothers, we are conditioned to put the needs of others first... to selflessly sacrifice for the greater good of our families... but operating from that dimness and that place of depletion isn't allowing you to shine in your fullest light. You deserve an environment that supports and holds you so that you can operate from a place of abundance. 

For me, self-care started by sitting down with my husband and writing out a list of all of the ways each of us contributed to the needs of the family. My list was 4x longer than his. The exercise is a great way to show your partner the mental and emotional load of mothering AND allows you to see a list of what your partner feels they contribute. I added a few things to my husband's list during that initial meeting. We then went through each item and divided them based on our strengths and what brings us joy. Because I am home, my list was still longer, BUT the mental and emotional load were equally distributed. 

Once we had made space for these agreements... I was able to really think about what lit me up. What things can I do with this extra "time" and mental space that might be more in alignment with my fully authentic self? Since I was no longer responsible for grocery shopping, I took the extra time to do a pottery class for 2 hours a week. That creative outlet helped my light shine brighter. 

We realized there were a lot of things on the list that we were doing because we thought we had to... and so we just decided to remove them from the list completely. For things that we both hated doing... we decided to reprioritize our budget and hire someone to do them for us. 

Self-Care is the next step... we clear the path, free up the space and then fill that space with things that fill us up and bring us joy. It doesn't have to be a total overhaul, but doing this slowly over time can deeply impact the the quality of your life. Plant the seeds now... so that you can grow a garden of things that you LOVE. 

For more ways to bring self-care practices into your life, check out my posts on female friendships, intuitive eating and non-toxic beauty and cleaning.